The Power Of Intention

In his book The Power of Intention (2004), Dr.  Wayne Dyer tells us that the ego is made up of the following ingredients:

1. I am what I have.  My possessions define me. 
2. I am what I do.  My achievements define me. 
3. I am what others think of me.  My reputation defines me. 
4. I am separate from everyone.  My body defines me alone. 
5. I am separate from all that is missing in my life.  My life space is disconnected from my desires. 
6. I am separate from God.  My life depends on God’s assessment of my worthiness. 

With its obsession of outside perceptions for what others think of possessions, achievements, reputation, body image, life image and worthiness, the all consuming negative ego blocks communication .

You were born perfect, perfectly awake and capable of seeing the beautiful, positive side of the world.  Most of the time, your physiological, educational, emotional and spiritual needs were met by your parents.

Then one day, you turned to them and were met by, “What are you bothering me for?”  All of a sudden, you were dealing with pain and separation.  Your negative ego mind was born to cope with your Unmet Need for worthiness.

When you think about asking for a referral, there’s a risk involved.  And so, your internal safety mechanism – your negative ego mind – comes alive and chimes in with the negative emotions of fear and the negative beliefs that will stop you from taking the risk.  “I can’t ask for a referral,” it says, “I’m not good enough, I don’t know enough, and the guy might reject me.”

So what do you do?  Nothing.  You stay asleep.

When you were belittled or passed over by your parents, you didn’t get that need met, and that led to emotions of shame.  Fast forward to today, and that manifests in negative thoughts of how you’re not good enough, leading to the actions of chasing money and possessions, leading to more emptiness, failure and Unmet Needs.  In your pursuit of what is missing, you miss more.

You need to wake up and take back control of your emotions and thinking.  Give your negative ego mind a rest and set your sights on a higher level of feeling and thinking.

When you address your Unmet Needs, you master your emotions and wrestle control from your negative ego mind.  You can win at any game you play.  Aside from Tigers transgressions, picture Tiger Woods winning the U.S. Open.  Consider that for the rest of us, there are three choices when it comes to playing the game of life:

1. Staying on the sidelines and opting not to play at all. 
2. Struggling to play the game while being hampered by negative emotions and beliefs generated by Unmet Needs. 
3. Playing to win and then triumphantly experiencing and sharing your feelings when they do (as Tiger Woods did). 

Please keep in mind that an Unmet Need can be both a blessing and a curse.  Being a young boy trying to sort out the trials and tribulations of my family drama, left me with an Unmet Need for approval.  That has turned out to be a catalyst for the valuable work that my clients receive from me today.

They appreciate my ability and drive to help them sort out complex situations in a short time, complete with an action plan.  My Unmet Need for approval was like a grain of sand in the oyster; after many years of irritation, a beautiful pearl emerged.  That is what I am blessed with today.

In hindsight, maybe all the golf didn’t meet Tigers Unmet Need and the Unmet Need caused Tiger to play another game outside of his marriage. I don’t celebrate what has happened to Tiger, it is sad.

This article was originally published in Curing The Unmet Needs Disease © Simon Reilly 2008