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Control “Telephone” Dramas

Laura & I recently relocated our home and home offices which included the move and installation of five telephone and fax lines.

If you have been reading my Blog you will recall that I have been writing about Control Dramas.

Click Here for – January 16, 2006 – Control Dramas

A knock came on the front door. I answered it to “I can’t get any of your telephone lines installed!”

The notion of Control Dramas has been top of mind and I have been doing my best to be the vigilant observer so that I don’t get pulled into these Control Dramas.

Let me tell you, this one wasn’t easy as our telephone lines are very important to us.

At the same time I am being vigilant to observe my role in attracting Control Dramas.

Back to the installer –

I asked why the telephone lines could not be installed.

The installer took me around to the side of the building to an access panel to point out that “The general contractor did not install a demarcation box!”

I said that I would call the general contractor .

The demarcation box installation was complete in half and hour.

Another knock came on the front door. I answered it to “I can’t get any of your telephone lines installed! The telephone lime installation crew has made a mistake and I can’t find any of your telephone lines!”

I asked what has to happen to fix it.

“I have to get the telephone line installation crew back to trace the underground telephone lines to see what is wrong!”

I said OK and let it go believing that it would be taken care of.

Within half an hour, three telephone line trucks arrive and crews started to pull telephone wire out of the underground. All of this took the best part of the day.

At about 5:30pm the installer announces that he has got one telephone line working out of five.

I asked what the next step was.

The replies were –

“I feel so bad that I can’t get your telephone lines to work!”

“I always get the telephone lines working no matter what!”

“The installation crew has made a big mistake and I will have to get them back!”

Which Control Drama or which combination of Control Dramas was the installer running?

1. Intimidators steal energy from others by threat.
2. Interrogators steal energy by judging and questioning.
3. Aloof people attract attention and energy to themselves by playing coy.
4. Poor Me’s drain energy and make people feel guilty and responsible for them.

I asked when do you expect this.

“A day or two”.

I asked if he could be more specific given that the order was placed three months ago and that the lines were business lines.

“I always get the telephone lines working no matter what!”

I said I appreciate that. I believe I should speak to someone at the office and request that they give us priority given that we placed the order three months ago and they are business lines.

“There is no sense in speaking to anyone else! “I always get the telephone lines working no matter what!” “YOU SEE THOSE HOUSES AROUND THE CORNER? THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR TELEPHONES FOR OVER 30 DAYS! “I always get the telephone lines working no matter what!”

Given that we were not getting anywhere, I thanked him for his help.

That evening, I did my best to not let my ego mind get carried away with “OH! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE BECAUSE WE CAN’T GET TELEPHONE LINES!” I’m a firm believer in staying awake and being aware of the thoughts that I put out for these thoughts will create the outcome that the thoughts are based on.

I fell asleep that night and as I reflect on it now, I didn’t give it much thought at all. I just knew that it would work out. The next morning, I called the telephone office and spent an hour with someone going through the order.

At 11am I was pulling out of the entrance to the project and a telephone line truck was pulling in. I stopped the driver and said hello and asked him if he was going to our address and he said yes.

There was something about the driver and the eye contact that we had that I knew that he was the man we were looking for. He exuded the confidence and energy of a pro. In twenty minutes he had all the telephone lines working. It seems that all the telephone lines that had been pulled up from the underground the previous day were all in wrong direction. The telephone lines that needed the repair were in the opposite direction.

So I thought to myself that we had done a good job to not get “hooked” by this Control Drama.

At the same time, what was our role in creating it?

As I reflect back to the three months prior, we must have been under stress with the unmet need of safety running creating limiting beliefs and worrying about the telephone lines and the move in the first place.

What goes around comes around.