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Approval, Control & Power Destroy Leadership

Here is a common thing that happens when a Leader’s Unmet Needs get in the way.


– Unmet Needs support continued Limiting Beliefs and Emotions.

– An Unmet Need cannot be met outside of ones self.

The Leader has Unmet Needs of Approval plus Unmet Needs of Control and Power.

The Leader with Unmet Needs of Approval will likely have weak Boundaries letting those that Report to them in what seems to the Report as being included in the Leader’s Inner Circle and everything is all buddy – buddy.

Then the buddy – buddy climate changes when the Leader needs to make a decision or make some changes. The Leader has been likely putting off the conversation around the decision or changes because they do not want to upset the apple cart because of their Unmet Need of Approval.

Then the intensity of the Leaders Unmet Needs of Control & Power take over because of the urgency and the Leader exclaims to those that Report to them that they want “X’ and that they want it NOW!

The Report proceeds to communicate in the “buddy – buddy” style.

The Leader slams the door on them and exclaims “I don’t give a sh*t about your excuses, I want it now!”

The Report retreats in shock never to warm up to the Leader again. The Report also retreats into their own Unmet Needs of Approval, the Limiting Beliefs that “It doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t please the Leader and I feel hurt and angry”. In some of the more dysfunctional cases, the Reports Unmet Needs of Control and Power take over and start to sabotage the Reports performance. People do strange things to get their Unmet Needs met – either they will get their Unmet Needs met in a dysfunctional way or a functional way.

Solution for the Leader. Start getting your Unmet Needs met from within and not from within the company and especially when dealing with Reports. Keep your Boundaries intact or the Reports will end up hating you.