Three Tips To Create A Stronger Working Relationship With Your Spouse

Laura and I work with clients that often times work with their spouses.

Laura and I have toyed with the idea of creating a company called Working Couples-We Make Couples Work given that we are in a loving relationship and have been working all alongside of each other going into our 12^th year.

Here are three tips that we share with our clients to help them create a stronger working relationship with their spouse:

1. Think back to when you first met your spouse and write down everything that you love / loved about them; characteristics, mannerisms, skills, talents etc. The next step is write down how this exercise makes you feel about them. Take this one step further and send your spouse a card with something like; I remember when we first met and these are all of the things that are attractive about you; ______, ______, ______ & ______. I love you today just as much as ever. This will help your spouse to remember the truth about himself/herself.
2. Have a conversation with your spouse about what the next 10 years look like and what you are both working towards. Talk about all areas of your life that include auto, clothing, home, vacation home, health, hobbies, intellectual pursuits, family, family education, friends, travel and above all, faith. Write down smart goals; Specific, Measureable, Actionable, Realistic and Timely. Once this is done then talk about the financial investment that it is going to require. Next, ask your spouse for their understanding in that it is going to take some extra time on your part with the investment of the odd evening and a Saturday here and there to realize these goals. Remember to paint a picture of what 10 years, 15 years in the future will look like after having invested in these goals and that future will include more time off, more travel, more time for the things that both of you enjoy doing.
3. Be the example. Start by making sure that all of your spaces are as clean and concise as you would like them to be. Your next step is to catch your spouse doing things right. Make a deposit in their emotional bank account. For every request that you make of your spouse, make sure that you have made 10 deposits in their emotional bank account in advance. When you ask your spouse for help in an area, frame it with, would you be willing to help me? Remember the vision that we talked about working towards? Explain that you are both working towards that vision and putting in the hours to make it happen, and that when you come home you are looking to create an environment that you can relax in. So with, would you be willing to help me… ask your spouse if he/she would be willing to work with you on cleaning up a particular area by picking up an item and identifying that it is something to keep, and therefore it needs to be put away. It is an item that is no longer being used, and it is valuable enough to sell and put it on a website like Craigslist.  It is an item that is not being used and not valuable enough to sell, and it needs to go to goodwill, and finally, the item needs to be thrown away.