Luke! I Don’t Want To Become Your Ego’s Father!

I said this to a valued client near the end of one of last weeks’ coaching calls, and my client and I had a really good laugh about this as the client understood exactly what I was talking about.

I always send a coaching call follow up e-mail after every coaching call that includes the following message; Please send copies of all your assignment work no later than the day before our next coaching call – I start my coaching days early with time allotted to go over your file along with you.

From time to time this doesn’t always happen.

My call from last week with my client was at 7am PT for me and 10am ET for my client and the assignment work came in at 6:30am PT.

The beginning of my daily schedule on coaching days looks like:

• 5am – Wakeup / Meditation
• 5:30am – Review coaching call files for the day along with assignments that have come in. I do a very complete job of sending coaching call follow up e-mails from our previous calls so it is very easy to keep myself and my clients organized.
• 6:30am – Shower and Breakfast
• 7am – 1st Client Coaching Call of the day

In the case of my client from last week, my client did an incredible job of taking two days out of their week to create the following assignments which did not arrive until 6:30am PT the morning of our coaching call leaving no time for me to prepare as much as I would have liked:

• Empty Their Mind Process
• Values Realignment Process
• The One Page Business Plan
• Business & Personal Goals
• Time Management Plan

On my side it would have be very easy to let my ego get in the way at the beginning of our call and make my client wrong for not sending their assignment work in the day before. At the same time, this would have been unprofessional and a major mistake. My client again did an extraordinary job, and continues to do an extraordinary job to take significant action to change the course of their personal and business lives … something that they should be truly acknowledged for doing. At the same time, my job as the coach is to serve no matter what, and while I prefer to read the assignment work in advance of my client calls, I can do it on the fly if required. But deeper than that, my work is to help my clients Clear their unmet needs, negative beliefs and negative emotions which block their values, positive beliefs and positive feelings. Unmet needs, negative beliefs and negative emotions are often times generated by an event from the past spurred on by matriarchal or patriarchal beliefs like:

• “You are not good enough”
• “You never get anything done on time”
• “You never finish anything”
• “You are not smart enough”

The coach’s job is to get that even though work is being done to clear the client’s unmet needs, negative beliefs and negative emotions … the client or rather the client’s subconscious ego mind is still carrying these unmet needs, negative beliefs and negative emotions below the surface. This is because of the ego’s years of built up negativity because of practicing these negative beliefs of, “You are not good enough”, “You never get anything done on time”, “You never finish anything” and “You are not smart enough”. The repeated practice of these negative beliefs become a self fulfilling prophecy because thoughts are real forces … you attract what you think about or rather, your subconscious ego mind will attract what you allow it to think about if you are not conscious.

The coach’s job is to get that a client can get tricked by their subconscious ego mind and even though the client intends to get their assignments in on time, the dark side of their subconscious ego mind is whispering, “Luke – you are not good enough”, “You never get anything done on time”, “You never finish anything” and “You are not smart enough”.