The late great Thomas Leonard, founder of Coach University once told me “Don’t become friends with your clients”.
He should have said, “Don’t become friends with your client’s dysfunctional ego mind.”
The reason that I say this is a great coach is a strong coach. A strong coach gives strong messages. Strong messages that will likely trigger the dysfunctional ego mind of the client.
Remember, the dysfunctional ego mind hypnotizes the client with unmet needs of control and power. Therefore convincing the client that they still need to use the dysfunctional ego mind to be in control and have power.
If your allow your dysfunctional ego mind to make you believe that you need to have control and power then you will have many outside forces that continue to control and have power over you. It is one of those laws of the universe.
So the coach needs to have strong boundaries with the client.
That is one of the reasons that I coach over the phone.
Sooner or later, because of a strong message from the coach that the client’s dysfunctional ego mind may not like, the client’s dysfunctional ego mind will find away to be right by attacking the messenger – in this case the coach.
Why should I listen to the coach says the dysfunctional ego mind!
The coach is;
– Too young
– Too old
– Too thin
– Too fat
– Has too much hair
– Has no hair
– Has a wrinkle in their suit
– Doesn’t wear a suit
– Doesn’t have a good enough suit
– Doesn’t have a good enough car
– Doesn’t have a good enough office
– Doesn’t have a good enough looking assistant
– Doesn’t have a good enough pen
– Doesn’t have a good enough tie
– Doesn’t have a good enough good enough
The dysfunctional ego mind is just waiting to find a reason to invalidate.
It is just a matter of time.
So that is the reason that I refrain from getting together with clients on a live and even social basis.
It keeps the messages clean and clear so that the messages continue to be heard.
International Values and Behavioral Analyst, Business Coach, Speaker and Author
Executive Coaching Tips for Financial Advisors
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