Grieving Las Vegas – Returning To Your Original Heart And Mind After Trauma

I have not watched the news this year.

Yes, my peripheral vision notices CNN and FOX NEWS on the monitors in airports and hotel lobbies.

My peripheral vision noticed the 58 Dead Headline on the monitor in the hotel lobby of The Renaissance early Monday morning, October 2 when Laura and I were in Nashville to exhibit at the FPA Conference.

My first reaction was twofold; one was to look away as I have not been watching the news, and the other was disbelief; making up a belief that this couldn’t be happening, and yet it was. I felt numb and sadness for the innocent victims.

The following is an email I sent to one of my clients who was in Las Vegas at the time of the shooting:

Thank you for sharing your experiences with me during our last phone call. I trust that you are on your way to feeling better.

As promised I am following up with some additional thoughts about our conversation.

Please note that I have no real way of knowing what you experienced, as I am not in your shoes.

As one processes any act of violence, we should be thoughtful and cautious in judging the perpetrator, as judgment creates an absence of love.

In the absence of love, one will be a victim and seek victims.

We should remember that we were born infinite as a perfect child of God or your parents, whatever your creed happens to be. We should remember that no one can ever take this infinite love away from us, as again we are infinite. Yes, they can take our body and our mind, but remember, the body and the mind are just containers that the soul resides in.

Unfortunately, events like what happened in Las Vegas remind us of the mortality of both the body and mind and unexpectedly, our body and mind, and the body and mind of those that we love can be taken from this world. It is hard to maintain one’s faith in humanity. Remember that the humanity of both the body and mind includes both love and fear and we must maintain our heart-based presence of love. A focus on fear and victimization will not create love.

After being traumatized, it is normal for one to feel shock, disbelief, and denial followed by feelings of despair, numbness, helplessness, sadness, aloneness, and emptiness. The stronger of these may be anger, fear, and hate.

These emotions can generate symptoms that include signs of insomnia or sleep disturbances, forgetfulness, poor concentration, loss of appetite and hypervigilance.

It would stand to reason that the above symptoms would escalate anger, fear, and hate.

There are some grief counsellors that suggest talking about one’s feelings with family and friends, but collective compassion could cause you additional frustration, anxiety, and revictimization extending and intensifying the grieving process with victims and their families thrusting their emotions and beliefs onto your subconscious, which you have little control over, causing you to live and relive the event repeatedly. This can be further escalated by watching the news and every news story that will likely go on for months into the future.

This will likely contribute to fatigue and difficulty in setting priorities.

When one is most vulnerable, trauma can open old wounds that may still have a scab on them causing them to bleed. Old wounds like the death of a loved one.

Here are some actions / things to remember;

• Be selective with what news you watch and how much news you watch
• Stop watching news spin-off stories about the event
• Do not try to suppress feelings
• Do not try to rush the process of grieving
• Create alone time
• Maintain a personal and business routine
• Take care of yourself
• Remind yourself of your values, vision, purpose, and mission

Remember to return home to your heart and soul through prayer and meditation at the beginning and end of every day.

May everyone return to their original hearts and minds.