Succession is a pivotal moment in any organization’s life cycle, especially when it involves the transition of leadership. However, these transitions are often fraught with emotional and psychological complexities. Two significant challenges during this period are succession sabotage and the shame of succession—both of which are deeply tied to issues of identity, self-worth, and ego. To better understand these dynamics, we must also explore the distinction between the person (the external identity we present to the world) and the self (our inner, authentic essence).
The Shame of Succession: Identity and Insecurity in Transition
The shame of succession refers to the deep emotional struggle that often accompanies leadership transitions, particularly for founders or long-term leaders. For the outgoing leader, stepping down can trigger feelings of inadequacy, fear of obsolescence, and a sense of losing relevance. This shame is often rooted in an over-identification with the person—the outward role, title, and social identity they have cultivated over the years.
For example, a founder who has built a company from the ground up may see their leadership role as inseparable from their personal identity. When the time comes to pass the baton, the founder may feel that stepping down is an admission of weakness or failure, creating a profound sense of shame. They may worry that without their role as the leader, they will lose their sense of purpose or value.
From the successor’s perspective, the shame of succession can also manifest as imposter syndrome—the feeling that they are not worthy of inheriting the leadership role, particularly if the predecessor has left behind a strong legacy. Successors may fear they will never measure up, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
Succession Sabotage: Fear and Resistance to Change
Succession sabotage occurs when either the outgoing leader or the successor undermines the transition process, often unintentionally, due to unresolved emotional issues or insecurities. This sabotage can take many forms, from micromanaging the successor’s decisions to undermining their authority in front of the team.
For the outgoing leader, succession sabotage is often a reaction to the fear of losing control. If the leader is overly identified with their person, they may resist letting go of their leadership role, fearing that their legacy will be diminished or that they will no longer be seen as valuable. In some cases, this fear can manifest as outright interference, where the outgoing leader hinders the successor’s initiatives or refuses to fully step aside, creating confusion and friction.
The successor can also engage in self-sabotage by doubting their abilities or failing to assert their leadership. If they are too focused on living up to the external expectations of the person—the leader they are expected to be—they may struggle to find their authentic leadership style. This can lead to hesitation, poor decision-making, and a reluctance to take bold steps, all of which can hinder the success of the transition.
The Person vs. The Self: A Path to Understanding
At the heart of both the shame of succession and succession sabotage is the tension between the person and the self:
- The Person: The person is the external identity—our roles, titles, and how we are perceived by others. In the context of succession, the person is the “CEO,” “founder,” or “leader.” When leaders over-identify with their person, they tie their self-worth to their position and accomplishments. This can make the process of stepping down incredibly difficult, as they fear losing the status and validation that come with their role.
- The Self: The self, in contrast, is the inner essence—our core values, beliefs, and authentic nature. The self is not dependent on external validation or titles. It represents who we are at our deepest level, regardless of what roles we play in life. In the context of succession, the self remains intact whether one is a leader or not. It focuses on purpose, meaning, and personal growth rather than external recognition.
Healing the Shame of Succession and Preventing Succession Sabotage
Understanding the difference between the person and the self is crucial to healing the shame of succession and preventing succession sabotage. Here’s how this awareness can help:
1. Reconnecting with the Self to Overcome Shame
For outgoing leaders, healing the shame of succession begins with reconnecting with their self. By recognizing that their value is not tied to their title or position, they can let go of the fear that stepping down diminishes their worth. The self remains constant and meaningful, even outside of leadership roles.
Focusing on the self allows outgoing leaders to see succession as a continuation of their legacy, not an end to it. Their impact on the organization can extend beyond their time in the leadership role, through mentorship, culture, and the values they’ve instilled.
2. Empowering the Successor’s Self to Avoid Self-Sabotage
For the successor, embracing their self is key to overcoming imposter syndrome and avoiding self-sabotage. By recognizing that they don’t need to perfectly replicate the outgoing leader’s legacy, they can lead authentically, with confidence in their unique strengths and vision.
When the successor shifts their focus from living up to the image of the person—the “perfect” leader or the “next version” of the founder—they can step into their own leadership style. Leading from the self allows them to be innovative, adaptable, and true to their own values, which is crucial for driving the company forward.
3. Cultivating Trust and Collaboration
When both the outgoing leader and successor operate from their self rather than their person, succession becomes a collaborative process rather than a competitive one. The outgoing leader can mentor and guide the successor without feeling threatened, and the successor can learn from the outgoing leader’s wisdom while developing their own approach.
This dynamic reduces friction and prevents succession sabotage, as both parties are secure in their self-worth, allowing the transition to happen smoothly and with mutual respect.
Moving Beyond Succession Sabotage and Shame
The emotional complexities of succession—whether it’s the shame of stepping down or the fear of not living up to expectations—are often tied to an over-identification with the person rather than the self. By recognizing this distinction, both outgoing leaders and successors can navigate these challenges with greater clarity and authenticity.
For the outgoing leader, understanding that their self-worth is not dependent on their role allows them to step down with grace and continue contributing in meaningful ways. For the successor, embracing their authentic self helps them lead with confidence and innovation, free from the shadow of their predecessor.
Ultimately, when succession is guided by the self rather than the person, it becomes a process of growth, continuity, and transformation, rather than a battle over legacy and identity. By focusing on inner values and authentic purpose, both parties can move beyond the fears and insecurities that often lead to succession sabotage and shame, ensuring a smooth and successful transition.
Understanding the importance of Values and Behaviors Assessments in preventing Your Succession Plan Bloodbath is crucial. These Assessments can help you prevent succession plan bloodbaths before they happen.
It’s essential to use separate Values and Behaviors Assessments. This ensures a comprehensive evaluation of the potential successor’s fit for the role.
- Behaviors measure 10% of success and HOW & WHAT to do.
- Values measure 90% of success and WHY you do what you do.
Values and Behaviors Assessments will provide the required benchmarks and understandings to help the Founder, and the Potential Successor answer these questions before the succession plan bloodbath happens.
What are your Values and Behaviors, and what are the best Values and Behaviors of a Potential Successor?
Contact Simon Reilly for a free consultation to prevent a Succession Plan Bloodbath. Call 250-248-6012 or click here to schedule a conversation.
Thank you for the opportunity to be of service.
Simon Reilly
International Values and Behavioral Analyst, Business Coach, Speaker and Author
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